Who are you, REALLY?

 Hi everybody!
As a blogger who loves to have followers and people to relate with, 
sometimes I feel the need to 'tone down' who I really am.
 Anybody else with me?

 You start thinkin':
My Mother-in-law reads this.
Religious people read this, Political, Ethical, 
'Easily Sometimes Offended' people read this....

 So you begin to edit your way of not only communicating- But thinking.

You start scouring the other blogs to see how 
or why they have become so mainstream/successful. 
Do they pretend to be something they're not at the price of success?
"Boy are they 'trending".....

 Then I think, are the trendy 'big-time bloggers real? (I know they exist), but are they REAL? Meanwhile, I am losing my creativity. I find myself buying shit that I don't really care for. On the hunt for the 'truth' of others, I am losing myself! MY VOICE. (and I can actually be really loud).

But alas, you go to the home-grown blogs who are REAL. Who actually create their outfits from imagination, not cash flow. Who are honest - Who have hundreds/thousands of supporters. Who don't give a shit whether or not 'scalloped short suits' are the it thing to 
blog about this Spring. The life blood of the original blogger. The choice of  those who need to be separated from the herd.

So which are you?
and most importantly,
Which am I???
So far, I have been a hybrid of trying to please everyone 
while hinting of my true nature, which includes:
1. Cursing (a lot).
2. Smoking (a lot).
3. a Liberal fruit fly.
4. A blaring 'rock-and-roll' station wagon driving cat lady.
5. A Bohemian, a Wanderer, a Seeker, a Thinker.
A cheap skate.
A lover, A very political person who always gives people spare change.
A cluttered heap of red-hot crazy. 
I bitch. I take meds. I would rather run over a human than an animal...
the list goes on and on....

So, I am beginning to avoid trendy magazines. I only look at the sites I love, Like Free People (pricey but great ideas:). I am finding more and more inspiring places to hang out. I am starting to dress myself again without a post in mind. And ya know what?

My creativity is gradually coming back. My inner Gypsy-Artist-Grunge-Fairy is slowly and beautifully returning...
And I like her :)
DIYed hat by me, THRIFTED DRESS,SWEATERS,BOOTIES. jeans: Dot's $5.00

Can you relate?
Reva ;)


grunge-queen said...

Feeling like you're self-editing on your blog is no fun, though I guess we all do it to an extent. But your life and style is a journey - and you've had quite a journey lately by the sounds of it - and creativity and various influences ebb and flow like the tide. You are what you are, Reva, and we love you!

But having said that, good for you for reclaiming your style ethic. You always look amazing to me. Sometimes I look at my current style and wonder what happened to the vintage frock-loving, 70s bling-wearing skinny chick who bought everything second-hand and drank vino every night! But hey, my life has changed drastically in the past 1.5 years - and for the better in many ways - and I accept and now embrace my new style (though I still miss that crazy vintage chick). Style inevitably changes with massive changes, as we change, don't you think?

I love the 90s-style dress you have here and it's brilliant worn open, and the pops of purple make me happy happy! xoxo

Pam @ over50feeling40 said...

Your last phrase...AND I LIKE IT...is all that matters REVA, you must be happy with you and who you are. You are precious and creative and kind...I share bits of me online and bits of me in emails to those who want to know me better...what's great is that on paper you and i are direct opposites. The world today tells us we cannot possibly be friends because we are so different. But, you know we are both strong, creative women with big hearts and my heart size includes you for I adore you and all that you are. I have loved seeing your style and reading your words. We are still at the core very different, but those differences should be what we like about one another. Who wants a room full of cookie cutters for friends? I am pleased to call you...the complete package...a friend and will always read your blog!

Underemployed said...

Anonymity helps. A lot. I'm not really David Niven. I hope you're not shocked.

Anonymous said...

Reva, I love you! I can compare myself into flatness, and often care way too much about what others think. I hold back all the time, and always have out of fear. I'm turning 53 this year and still carry the fears of a 13 year old sometimes. Someone said once, "When you stop caring what the world thinks, you can finally start having fun." Kind of a spin on what you're saying here and it's so true. Although I seem to always have one foot on the side of "acceptable." It's a ball and chain I tell ya! Fuck it!

Divers and Sundry said...

i love that hat!

when i read the fashion blogs, i'm looking for individuality. thx for being willing to step out there and show who you are.

i had never heard of free people before, but i googled it and like what i see. :) pricey, as you say, but sweet. thx!

Krista Gassib said...

Reva I want to give you a big hug right about now! So many wonderful topics you touched upon in this post! I would say I am 100% real on my blog but I do not share everything, my Mom reads my blog :) I couldn't agree with you more about a sea of bloggers who seem to be more show than anything else. I also don't get women our age trying to follow the trends of 20 year olds, I hope they figure it out someday.

After all who better to be than yourself and if you don't like who you are change it.

Vix said...

Reva, as you know I've been following you for years and you've never changed, you write from the heart, your positive, cheery, stylish and true to yourself and fabulous to boot.
I'm probably too "out there", strangers stop me and tell me they read my blog and comment on how I look in a bikini and there I am posting about depression and once wanting to die! I'd never get gainful employment even if I wanted to.
I don't follow any "big bloggers" they all sell out after a while and become a walking advert for shit I don't want/need/care for. If you read the comments they are just meaningless "follow me" rubbish. Look at yours, proper comments from people who care.
Just be true to yourself, if people leave then that's okay, better to speak for a small tribe than a flock of sheep!
Love ya! xxxxxx

Jodi B. said...

I recently un-favorited a bunch of fashion blogs that I thought I "should" read and kept only those that bring me joy. You were one of those! :-) Thanks for keepin' it real!

Julia Rebaudo said...

This is a totally brilliant post! Completely inspired :) I really enjoyed it. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and glad you enjoyed my post. Would it be too cheeky to ask if you might nominate my blog for a UK Style Bloggers Award? It just takes a few minutes and would be AMAZING! The link and info are here:


No worries if not of course! Have a lovely weekend!
Julia xx

Jen said...

I love this post so much. I love your crazy outfit. I love your list of self-definitions (most of them sound a lot like me, especially the rock & roll blaring station wagon driver, haha). And I love that you ask yourself and your readers these questions. Returning to yourself is such a joyful, natural process... I'm doing it, too.

Here's my all-time favorite quote (it seems to apply here): "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." It's Dr. Seuss!

SomeoneLikeYou said...

I love this post so much Reva :D I see so much of you coming out of it- pure, truly beautiful you. As a 19 year old it's a huge inspiration to me! x

Lara Takahashi said...

Yesss :)
I don't exist to please the masses, either. Obviously most people do follow the trends (and I also do pick what I like) but there is no way I would want to be "mainstream", even if that brought more clicks for my ads ;D

Melanie said...

I am so glad that you are feeling freed up! Although your voice has been there all along. You're a fabulous one-of-a-kind which is what keeps people coming back for more. Like me! Keep on singing!

Penny-Rose said...

Wow, your post really struck a chord with me Reva, I really know where you are coming from about the fashion blogs. I used to buy fashion magazines and now I buy none. From one crazy rock and roll station wagon driving cat lady to another - I like your honesty and your style. Keep on blogging!!

Sacramento Amate said...

Love the layering and the fabulous hat, dear Reva.

Bella Q said...

I can relate. You are very relatable, Reva! I love how open you are, how willing you are to learn to grow and to share! I adore you, actually! And not just your style (which I love.) I believe we all are "real." But are we true or genuine? That may be a work in progress, and you my friend are the most glorious "A cluttered heap of red-hot crazy" I've yet to meet. Just love. To YOU.

Kelly-Ann Maddox said...

I love this post :) (And the DIY hat.)

My blog has been through several distinctly different lives because I've allowed it to change as I've changed and I don't care whether or not that means it's not 'successful' because success definitely starts from within.


Tamera Beardsley said...

Boy can I relate! First off as far as my writing on my blog goes... I stick with my mother's advice that has served me well (through trial and error to be sure)... if you can't say something nice, say nothing. I don't tell my families business, but still manage to tell my own perspective...THAt being said.... my blog is MY space!

It is my little space that I honor... I have been on this planet long enough to realize... I won't be here forever... creative freedom is paramount in my world... so very much more than stats or followers. I worry about bloggers losing their own creative vision in the pursuit of gaining a following... an adult high school all over again. I have an artist soul through and through... it is sharing creativity that keeps me blogging! And of course connecting with like minded souls like yourself!

Kudos to you my dear... your post got my tears a flowing... YOU GO GIRL! .... and thanks...

Charlotte Issyvoo said...

Yup, I can relate, but I come at it from a different angle. I was raised by hippies and have never existed in the mainstream.... Oh, rather than explain it all over again, I explain it all here: http://www.sublimemercies.com/p/about.html

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